SailorMoon Lessons In Life
by SchweigenRoshan
Summary: Summary of the... ahem, lessons, which can be learnt from the series. PG for joke references to some parts that might be considered obscene ( certainly no visuals, though).


Disclaimer: This is a SailorMoon fan fiction

Disclaimer: This is a SailorMoon fan fiction. SailorMoon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, Toei, Bandai, Kodansha and anyone else who has rights.

Author's Notes:

Well, just a joke about stereotypes. Please do not be offended, I personally like SailorMoon as a series, it's just to poke fun and have a laugh, the same way you'd probably like to see your favourite senshi teased in a fic. If anything here has offended you for a different reason, it's all inferred from the Anime, and I do not mean it personally. Hope you find this funny... Enjoy!

WARNING:

Do NOT take these "lessons" to heart, especially for those mentioning anything remotely obscene. Most of the time, they mean the exact opposite or are stupid, just for laughs. 

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  * WOMEN RULE!!! Men are lousy - they only know how to get kidnapped (while *trying* to save their "damsel in distress").
  * Teenagers / youths (women in specific) make the best world-saving teams.
  * The Y-chromosome (needed for a embryo to develop into a male fetus) is sorely lacking in the royal department (as well as the villain department, I must add).
  * Super-powered heroes are truly the most powerful beings on the face of the earth - they can even control the earth's background scenery and music when they have to transform (and no one will notice).
  * It is possible to be the world's greatest glutton and at the same time not go bankrupt, stay slim, *as well as* find the perfect partner of your dreams.
  * No one will hear a talking cat speak unless the person the cat is speaking to notices someone around or tries to shut the cat up.
  * If you are not particularly fat, then you are slim and have good-looking legs.
  * The best disguise in the world is *drumroll*... the TIARA!!! (Throw in a Sailor suit - and perhaps sprout wings - and it'll be just *perfect*)
  * You don't have to be an Einstein to make a difference. All you need is a guardian cat with a Crescent Moon to tell you that you will be a hero, and regardless how silly you may be, it will come true.
  * The Hubble Space Telescope is lousy - an entire city's ruins can exist on the moon and it will not notice it.
  * The power of love is the most powerful thing on earth - it can destroy your worst enemy.
  * There are more to fancy pens than meets the eye.
  * It is possible for a female to cheat her way past medical check-ups, blood tests and whatnot into a racing career (only meant for males).
  * The local police force must be really lousy - monsters and miscellaneous evil forces can ravage cities so many times and yet, in all the battles featured, policemen never or seldom arrive at the scene on time (or at all).
  * Human beings are very special and interesting. We have heart crystals and star seeds. When science (or fantasy) gets advanced enough, we might even discover life stones or hope granules.
  * Japanese can have any color of hair (yes, even bright PINK or red on a child) and no one will notice. Same goes for the eye colors.
  * It is possible to grow VERY long hair, tie it up into knots right on top of your head, and not suffer from a VERY bad case of hair loss.
  * Roses are the sharpest things on earth - their stems penetrate just about anything.
  * Any victory or new power which is unexplainable is due to the power of love.
  * Entrances to battles are best made by jumping down from something high, preferably a lamppost. No one will notice how you got up there either.
  * Short-sleeved sailor costumes with mini-skirts, accompanied with huge ribbons on the front and back, make one of the best battle gears. The best thing to do is to go naked or clothe yourself with loose ribbons that look like they can be blown off anytime (you can only do this if you have the power to keep the ribbons there in the first place, of course).
  * It is essential for people to preserve their modesty by keeping private parts concealed. Women villains, though, have no need to, since their private parts are probably of weird colors that look no different from any clothing they might wear.
  * Each time two Senshi, not previously acquainted, meet each other, they will have gut instincts that reveal their true identities. This is never followed, however, and is never remembered after the real identities are discovered.
  * Wings are not used for flying - they are used for cosmetic purposes, as well as for making your total volume or surface area bigger so battles have more drama when enemies have more attacking chances.
  * No monster will attack you during transformation or when you are reciting moves. Instead, they simply wait obediently by the side.
  * They give you a time allowance for your entrance speech too!
  * You can be assured that your hair will not become messy no matter how battered your body is (unless, of course, you are about to die somewhere in the North / South pole, in which case your hair shouldn't matter any more anyway).
  * An entire city of people can be frozen for the entire time span of a battle, and when they get defrosted, they do not get any symptoms like hypothermia. Either that or SailorMoon can run all the hospitals in Tokyo (maybe the world) single-handedly, and therefore, taking any medical degree is highly unwise.
  * Monsters only attack Juuban, Tokyo ...
  * And the people around you ...
  * Especially if you have just met them.


End file.
